You Can't Make This Stuff Up

Well obviously someone can make this up because they did, but I definitely can’t make it up.  I was browsing the internet (as I so often do) and low and behold this image popped up on my screen.  I couldn’t help but laugh out loud (and email the picture to many of my friends—something I also do often) but then I got to thinking.  Someone is making a business on this.  Someone is selling parents a cover for the swing at the playground and alongside it a healthy helping of fear.  This product is meant to assuage the fear in parents of the notoriously dangerous playground swing.

Parents are so worried about protecting their children that they would purchase an absurd product like a swing protector.   We know parents love their children and want what is best for them, but doesn’t this seem extreme?   It might begin with the swing—or actually the sister product The Shopping Cart Cover—but it quickly turns into ‘that horrible influence on my child’ or ‘the terrible teacher who didn’t push him.’  There are so many horrors out there I can’t even tell you.  As we sit down with parents for parent teacher conferences we need to keep this ‘playground fear’ on our shoulder.

Some teachers think of parent teacher conferences as a time to showcase the growth of their students with the adult partners who love them so dearly.  Others of us teachers dread these conferences, what unexpected horror is going to befall me this year?  Which parents are going to leave thinking I am a horrible teacher?  But we often forget to think about the parents.

Every parent brings something to the table during those conferences.  Kids are about as personal as it gets.  Every critique you have about a child is taken straight to the heart.  Every improvement that is needed is one thing that a parent did ‘wrong.’  Parents see themselves in their children and you have the raw data and the professional opinion that can make or break their life’s work. 

As you sit down in those tiny chairs (come on people, go get the big chairs that are in storage…) remember these vulnerable parents sitting with you.  There is no formula that will guarantee a successful conference, but I believe that taking the perspective of every parent who walks in your room will certainly be a strong start.  Not every parent is there to judge your teaching or your classroom or your grading scale. Every parent, however, loves his child to the point where he would do anything to protect her from the dangers of the world.  Show these parents that you are indeed partners working together to help their child and allow them to resist putting up a barrier—a ridiculous swing cover if you will—between you and their most prized possession.

Happy Conferencing!

You Changed the What?!?!?

We have a constant need to do better—or we should.  If we don’t try and do new things better than last year then we are not ‘good’ teachers.  We become stagnant in our work.  We become the washout of the school, the teacher no parent or kid wants to be subjected to for a whole year… 

It is your first year teaching fifth grade.  You have taught third grade for four years but you are now moving up in the world to fifth grade.  The last fifth grade teacher retired with much fanfare and many tears from adoring students and parents—and look at that here you are. 

The material you received from him was a jumbled mess.  You know there is a method to his madness, but you cannot for the life of you figure it out.  You do see the big file called “State Projects.”  Youknow about these state projects, they are famous, legendary.  Fifth graders have been completing them for centuries.  There are model projects in this folder from at least 10 different years!  As you plod through the planning of the year you realize a really cool way to integrate this years state project with your science unit.  ‘This is going to be so cool.’ You think to yourself.  In fact, it takes the project to a whole new level.  You spend months building it up in your head and in the minds of your students.  They cannot wait to start.  Finally, in February, you hand out the assignment, rubric, and timeline.  The students have to bring it home to review with their parents and bring it back with a signature that they all understand what is expected. 

Monday morning one student brings it back with a post-it note from his mother “I would really like to speak with you about this project.” The note says.  An email is waiting in your inbox from another parent about your ‘new idea.’  And yet another approaches you at pickup.  The message is the same from each of them:

How can you change this treasured tradition of the fifth grade project?

By now, I am sure you have a similar story from your own experience in mind.  Whether it is changing an assessment, book choice, unit of study, or routine I am sure you have heard people resistant to your change.  Change is uncomfortable, it is unsettling but yet we know we need to keep evolving to thrive in our jobs.

How can we reach a balance with this tension?  When do we need to drop what is comfortable for something new and challenging?  When do we need to maintain routine and structure for the sake of our classes and ourselves?

I think we need to ask ourselves the biggest question of ‘why?’

In the scenario I painted above the new teacher had a need that she was trying to meet.  She was entering a world of unknown trying to make sense for herself—to own the classroom she was about to guide.  Her need was strong and real and she wouldn’t have been able to teach the students well if she didn’t feel in control of the classroom material.  Had she just taken over the jumble of files her year would have been a jumble of lessons. 

Many new teachers starting out feel one of two things.  One new teacher needs to prove to herself and to those around her that she can ‘do it on her own.’  She wants to separate herself from the person who had been there before and prove that she is just as worthy of the position if not more.  She may abandon what has worked in the past for the sake of being ‘different, innovative, creative.’  The other new teacher clings on to what he has seen.  He anchors himself in the known even if he knows it isn’t was is best for his students.  He knows what he would like to do, but is uncomfortable making any changes for fear of failure.

As you can imagine, neither of these teachers are ideal.  As with almost everything in life we teachers need to balance.  We need to balance the old with the new, the innovative and the routine and most importantly we constantly need to be asking ourselves ‘Why am I really doing this?  Is it best for my students?’

So let’s go back to our new fifth grade teacher.  Was she wrong to change the project?  Is she expecting too much changing this beloved project too soon?

She needs to listen to the parents and understand that change is hard and uncomfortable but ultimately if she can answer the ‘why’ with confidence and compassion she is off to a successful start.